This is about the ties that bind.And the bases that act as the foundations.
Of lives.
Their reasons for being.Their nature.Their journey.Their purpose.
So this morning I woke up light and happy.I have seen my mind take rather naturally and readily to its role of being a Spreader of Happiness.Now THAT'S a dream job if ever there was one. :)
Numerous thoughts crossed me.And then one of them held on to me.
It was on the nature,purpose,reason for the ties we make.
What makes us create something?And having done so,what do we make as the foundation on which it rests?
Its very personal,I realize.Which is why the disclaimer in advance that this ONE PERSON's perspective.
So,what really does tie us to people? And is that reason important to what takes place thereafter?
What do people base their relationships on?Is it obvious or subtle?
Is there a point to these questions?
Are they relevant or even moot?
Truthfully,I don't know.
These could be merely random thoughts.Or they could be reflections gestated from deep introspection.
Whatever may be,I feel they bear being put down,for a few simple reasons.
The first one seems the universality of ambiguity surrounding the rather dangerous minefield of modern relationships.It does NOT help that the people in them tend to change goalposts ever so often without so much as a by your leave,or at times without even realizing it themselves.Confusion abounds from a lack of clarity,not helped by the lack of communication.Its a fine mess.Hurt happens inevitably and invariably,more often than not unintended.
I once heard someone say: I would rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I am not.
Laudable,yes.
Practical? Not quite. Not when self deception is spreading on an epidemic scale.
Promises are made for reasons that have nothing to do with the intentions behind them.
Ever after suddenly seems terribly important.
Holding on,no matter what seems almost like a crowning badge of fidelity.
Somewhere,truth suffers.
Then there is the strange phenomenon of need.Disguised,quite cleverly so,as you may imagine,as a reason,a binding factor.
Its all very well,in concept.That is,until ever after turns into need fulfilment.Crossing the threshold changes something.Quite simply,it necessitates a reinvention,a rethink,perhaps a completely new perspective.
But hold on,you say.What about compromise,adjustment,evolution,growth and all such wonderful soliloquies?
I completely empathize.
When a relationship starts itself based on a need,it culminates on fulfilment of that need.
And then what?
We search for new needs?
Simple?
Only,not.
Because somewhere something has moved past the moment where fulfilling needs was the principal pursuit.
In any case,different needs do somewhere presuppose different sources of fulfilment.
Why I particularly find it strange to make need the foundation and binding factor in a relationship is because of their transient nature when seen against the need of a relationship to have longevity.
Which leads to the question: Do relationships presuppose longevity?
But that is for another day.. :)
But there is no denying that longevity is definitely on the mind of people who chose and decide to invest themselves in something as potentially all consuming as a deep,passionate relationship.It would be masochistic not to..
So needs..longevity..mutually contradictory.
I have purposely avoided going into the murky swamp of traditions,conditioning,passive-aggressive pressures from societal and familial role playing.Primarily because I feel there is already enough literature abounding on that.And they too,while fully fraught with the same risks as relationships free from their influence,offer the promise of happily ever after..:)
I came across a quote today: "Because to the world,you are one person,but to one person, you are the world"
Its the thought that has sold a million hallmark cards,countless romcoms and an equally humongous numbers of music CDs.
I rest my case. :)
Of lives.
Their reasons for being.Their nature.Their journey.Their purpose.
So this morning I woke up light and happy.I have seen my mind take rather naturally and readily to its role of being a Spreader of Happiness.Now THAT'S a dream job if ever there was one. :)
Numerous thoughts crossed me.And then one of them held on to me.
It was on the nature,purpose,reason for the ties we make.
What makes us create something?And having done so,what do we make as the foundation on which it rests?
Its very personal,I realize.Which is why the disclaimer in advance that this ONE PERSON's perspective.
So,what really does tie us to people? And is that reason important to what takes place thereafter?
What do people base their relationships on?Is it obvious or subtle?
Is there a point to these questions?
Are they relevant or even moot?
Truthfully,I don't know.
These could be merely random thoughts.Or they could be reflections gestated from deep introspection.
Whatever may be,I feel they bear being put down,for a few simple reasons.
The first one seems the universality of ambiguity surrounding the rather dangerous minefield of modern relationships.It does NOT help that the people in them tend to change goalposts ever so often without so much as a by your leave,or at times without even realizing it themselves.Confusion abounds from a lack of clarity,not helped by the lack of communication.Its a fine mess.Hurt happens inevitably and invariably,more often than not unintended.
I once heard someone say: I would rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I am not.
Laudable,yes.
Practical? Not quite. Not when self deception is spreading on an epidemic scale.
Promises are made for reasons that have nothing to do with the intentions behind them.
Ever after suddenly seems terribly important.
Holding on,no matter what seems almost like a crowning badge of fidelity.
Somewhere,truth suffers.
Then there is the strange phenomenon of need.Disguised,quite cleverly so,as you may imagine,as a reason,a binding factor.
Its all very well,in concept.That is,until ever after turns into need fulfilment.Crossing the threshold changes something.Quite simply,it necessitates a reinvention,a rethink,perhaps a completely new perspective.
But hold on,you say.What about compromise,adjustment,evolution,growth and all such wonderful soliloquies?
I completely empathize.
When a relationship starts itself based on a need,it culminates on fulfilment of that need.
And then what?
We search for new needs?
Simple?
Only,not.
Because somewhere something has moved past the moment where fulfilling needs was the principal pursuit.
In any case,different needs do somewhere presuppose different sources of fulfilment.
Why I particularly find it strange to make need the foundation and binding factor in a relationship is because of their transient nature when seen against the need of a relationship to have longevity.
Which leads to the question: Do relationships presuppose longevity?
But that is for another day.. :)
But there is no denying that longevity is definitely on the mind of people who chose and decide to invest themselves in something as potentially all consuming as a deep,passionate relationship.It would be masochistic not to..
So needs..longevity..mutually contradictory.
I have purposely avoided going into the murky swamp of traditions,conditioning,passive-aggressive pressures from societal and familial role playing.Primarily because I feel there is already enough literature abounding on that.And they too,while fully fraught with the same risks as relationships free from their influence,offer the promise of happily ever after..:)
I came across a quote today: "Because to the world,you are one person,but to one person, you are the world"
Its the thought that has sold a million hallmark cards,countless romcoms and an equally humongous numbers of music CDs.
I rest my case. :)
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